Even Vanity Fair is WTF about the missing skeezy ‘stache!

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It seems like ages ago, but just this past January, before filming started, The Fourgy blogged about the possibility of His Holy Hotness Robert Pattinson rocking a mustache to accurately portray Georges Duroy in Bel Ami. We even started a Twibbon cause for readers to add a “skeezy ‘stache” to their Twitter avatars to promote the use of said ‘stache. The Fourgy were a bunch of sad pandas when we realized that Georges’ face would be totally hairless – like one of those allergy-free kitty cats. I guess it’s refreshing to read that we’re not the only ones miffed that Mr. Pattinson’s mustache seems to have been written completely out of the movie. Vanity Fair posted an article today expressing our same thoughts!

So, God bless you Julian at Vanity Fair. We feel ya bro. And if you can convince the producers to add in the skeezy ‘stache during post-production we’ll bring you a dozen red velvet cupcakes to your office in New Yawk City.

From Vanity Fair:

Where is Robert Pattinson’s Bel-Ami Mustache?

by Julian Sancton
March 30, 2010, 11:23 AM

VF is our hero for using the Bel Ami Twibbon 'stache for this article!

Like many reluctant heartthrobs, Robert Pattinson is torn between his desire to be taken seriously as an actor and his desire to still look hot. Recently leaked images from the Budapest set of Bel-Ami, based on the 19th-century French novel by Guy de Maupassant, show Pattinson looking dandyish in a top hat and tails as the womanizing social climber Georges Duroy. In almost every way, Pattinson looks the part. Duroy is described in the book as “tall, well-built, fair, with blue eyes, a curled mustache, hair naturally wavy… he recalled the hero of the popular romances.” Anything missing? That’s right: the mustache. Duroy’s luxuriant lip-hair is his most distinctive feature, appearing as early as the second sentence:

After changing his five-franc piece Georges Duroy left the restaurant. He twisted his mustache in military style and cast a rapid, sweeping glance upon the diners.

The many subsequent mentions of the mustache make it clear that it is Duroy’s most expressive feature as well:

  • On reaching the second floor, he saw another mirror, and once more slackened his pace to look at himself. He likewise paused before the third glass, twirled his mustache, took off his hat to arrange his hair, and murmured half aloud, a habit of his: “Hall mirrors are most convenient.”
  • At first he did not reply; a smile lurked beneath his mustache; then he murmured: “I am your slave.”
  • Madeleine cast down her eyes; her cheeks were pale. Georges nervously twisted his mustache.
  • He seated himself, crossed his legs and began to twist the ends of his mustache, as was his custom when annoyed, uneasy, or pondering over a weighty question.

There is even a sensual description of the mustache in the original French that is strangely shaved off in the English editions. Here’s a rough translation:

  • He spoke easily, with charm in his voice, much grace in his eyes, and irresistible seduction in his mustache. It was tousled on his lip, curled, pretty, blonde with red highlights and lighter shades in the spiky hairs on the ends.

Is there a no-mustache clause in Pattinson’s contract? Do his managers feel that a Pringles-guy ‘stache would forever alienate him from the Twilight set, who prefer him looking forever adolescent? Hopefully the filmmakers will add it in post-production.

  • holdmeRansom

    At first he did not reply; a smile lurked beneath his mustache; then he murmured: “I am your slave.”

    HEEHEE… maybe they are going with his hair instead… he is a slave to the hair tug…

    it’s true. sad to not see something on that lip…
    but you got to admit. he still looks fine….

  • suzspetals

    Why is it assumed that Rob made the no-stache call? Curious.

    • holdmeRansom

      I was wondering that as well…It’s not like he is scared of the hair growth… helooo Grizlly Rob Adams in January.

      Maybe Christina or Uma said they’d rather not kiss the Marlboro man…

      or maybe he has a nasty bald spot where he’d need to grow it (doubt it- that hairy boy) and that a fake stache would look awful.
      and maybe he’s allergic to the glues for fake staches.
      He does suffer from allergies, as we well know…
      Maybe Little Ashes forced his hand to the No-satche, no-Tuck clause….
      i could think about this forever….

      • suzspetals

        I can see you’ve thought a lot about this. Thank God, so now I don’t have to:)

      • holdmeRansom

        heehee… i take my “research” very seriously….

        heehee….

  • Cyndi

    Personally, I am glad there is no mustache, even if it is part of the character description. Pehaps they will “CGI” it in later. 🙂

  • Thanks for linking, guys!
    Ever yours in twirly facial hair,
    Julian

    • WOOHOO you rock, Julian!

    • I’m still in mourning over the loss of les porno stache *SOB* er can they CGI in the stache maybe? A girl can hope right… thanks for visiting Julian, great article!

    • WastingTheMorning

      I refuse to give up hope! Maybe Georges will grow the stache post-marriage. Or maybe Rob takes off his fake stache (aka stunt stache) to smoke a cigarette so we don’t see it in paparazzi pictures.
      *crossing my fingers*

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  • I’m quite disappointed in the lack of stache. I love the old handlebar staches and they’re actually not a turn-off to me at all. And even without the literary references, it’s clear that a man of Georges’ age would have the standard stache of that era. I’m not sure Rob really pulls off a 30 year old guy without any facial hair. Oh well, it’s not like that will stop me from seeing it at least 10 times when it comes out in theaters. LOL

  • Lori

    I thought Rob in a mustache, in Salvador Dali was very distracting, even though I know he had to have it for that character, I don’t think the missing mustache is going to risk the greatness of this movie at all. Besides I really like being able to see Rob’s lips without any obstructions.

  • shelltheSAP

    First of all I totally squeed for you! Your Twibbon stashe is like the little stashe that could! You must be so proud!

    I totally agree that they missed the boat with having him shave it off! He was so prepared during the holidays! Grizzly Rob was locked and loaded, then… Nothing? They must have test shots of him somewhere sportin the stashe! *shaking fist at the stasheblockers* Damn you! It would have been so smexy! Just my humble opinion! 😉

  • Old chick 4 Rob

    I would like him to have the mustache for the film like the character Georges in the book I read. He will be totally hot with or without it dressed in his period costumes. Can’t wait to see his hotness in this movie next year-ASAP please!

  • kphrase

    Maybe they did try the mustache when initially deciding on a look for Duroy? It could have been decided that the ‘stache’ made Rob look too sinister, it’s hard to pull off a good mustache look. He may of ended up looking to ‘cartoony’ like Snidely Whiplash? Personally, I prefer him stache-less, the better to see his kissable lips…

  • kammmommy

    After the little ashes stache…I’m okay without it. Actually a clean shaved Rob is much better to me.

  • Lynda Motl

    I’m with the ones who wants to see all of Rob, ahhh Georges and I’m the one who usually likes the stache and a beard…. but I really wanna see Rob’s beautiful face!!

  • …maybe they just didn’t want to hide any of his pretty face from us!

  • FMP

    I think they probably did try it. He grew the bush. We all saw it. It was definitely thick and pretty close to the right color. Then there was at least one fan pic from in a London pub a few days before filming started that showed that it had all been trimmed (it actually looked kinda hot). I think they played around with the look a bit, but when it all got shaved except the stache there was a group decision made that it just looked too skeezy.

  • Shana

    I think the choice was made to ex ne on the stache because rob had a similar stache in little ashes. I think RoB is a great actor but I think acting with that dramatic thing on his face was equivalent to trying to act with bunny ears on your head. It’s very distracting to both the audience & the actor.